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Wednesday, July 30th, 2003

Time:11:00 pm.
I am getting rid of this journal
if you want it, comment on my journal telling me your 5 favorite bands, movies, and actors/actresses. if you're cool enough, my password is yours
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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003

Time:10:18 pm.
Mood: thirsty.
OH MY GOD. I have been through hell and back again.

Last Thursday was surfing day with Leo. We both went without money again. Thing we would have learned, no? Anyway, I was already hungry. We spend about 3 hours surfing when I collapsed into the sand. Apparently, unconscious. Leo took me to a hospital I guess. {So he tells me) and hey, I was dehydrated. The combination of not eating with swallowing massive amounts of salt.

So I had to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. I called my parents [who are in New York doing some dumb ass business thing]. Did they rush home to see how their only daughter was? NO The only thing my dad said was "I'm sorry Crys, hang in there, don't call during my business meetings"

I'm glad they love me. Anyway, while I was overnight, they were worried that I was underweight, and told me I was anorexic or bulimic. Gee, thanks. So they wanted me to stay another night while they kept bringing me food. Leo saved my life by bringing me a burrito.

That's about it. Then, I was just tired and watched movies all week and watched Leo race. How boring!
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Tuesday, June 24th, 2003

Time:11:32 pm.
What rating is your journal?
ok now for my surveyCollapse )

Ok, now, before my parents left, and before Leo came back. My mom sat down with me and told me that if I was choosing to be sexually active, I need to use protection. She thinks Leo and I have sex! Um nO! OMG I can't fucking believe she would think that! Leo is my best friend. End of story. He is gorgeous. He has the most stellar blue eyes. But he's like my little brother. Just because he is living with us, that doesn't mean I am having sex. Sex was gross. And I won't do it again for awhile.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, June 20th, 2003

Subject:shave your beaver
Time:8:59 pm.

XD I hope you get this!! ROFL
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 19th, 2003

Subject:ay ay ay ay
Time:11:40 pm.
Mood: depressed.
ok. movie day sucked ass. i invited some "friends" from school, people i didn't know too well. So they don't know much about me. Lets look at one of my conversations. shall we?
John: So what's your last name?
Me: Clear
John: Your name is Crystal Clear? ::starting to laugh::
Me: yeah..
John: Did you parents want you to become a porn star?
Me: Yeah, in fact, they did
John: That is so cool
Guys make me throw up. Luckily, there were other sane people there, such as Nicole, Brittany, Andy, David and Courtney. Everyone had brought DVDs to watch, so we ordered some chinese food and ended up watching Pulp Fiction, The Matrix, and Forrest Gump. It was a looong day. So the John guy was sitting next to me on a couch during the Matrix, and he kept asking me if I was gonna be a stripper or a porn star. I ignored him. Then my mom came in, and John said "Why did you name Crystal Crystal?" my mom laughed and said "Isn't that the cutest name? Crystal Clear? Like that's crystal clear! Clear as crystal." I sunk into the couch in embarassment. seriously, what are parents good for? i miss leo already. he'll be back soon. i hope it goes well with his parents.
Nothing happened, but everyone got into making fun of me so i have no self esteem. What should i change my name to? Ive always liked the name Rebecca and Christina.
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Wednesday, June 18th, 2003

Subject:She Sells Sea Shells By The Sea Shore
Time:10:48 pm.
Mood: flirty.
I forgot all about you journal! Don't cry. Once again, the fab abbed Leo is typing for me. I need to get off my lazy ass, but I am so exhausted. Leo drove me to the beach, where we proceeded to surf the day away. My parents even gave me permisson to go. It's so weird when they're home. Missy and Jake were at the beach, but I ignored them, and they ignored us. So it was all good.
We both got hungry around noon, but I thought Leo had brought money, and he thought I had, so we starved. We surfed away our hunger pains. While we were also on the beach, we found this awesome 50's style diner. It was so cute. It was full of Marilyn Monroes, Lucille Balls, Elvises, Fonzies, and James Deans. We went out to get out of the heat, and they weren't even mad that we didn't buy anything, they just let us cool off in a booth and brought us water.
Not much else happened. Leo is going home for a week to try to patch everything over with his parents. So I am left with no friends, and I will have to type out my own journals. ::cries:: So I will probably make tomorrow a movie day. I know some people I could invite over. It could be fun. Screw it, I need sleep. Goodnight!
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Thursday, June 12th, 2003

Time:10:50 pm.
Mood: lazy.
I did it! I fought and kicked and bitched my way out of going to that stupid private school. No uniforms for me! But my parents aren't happy with me. They've been home all week. A rarity for me. I've never seen my parents this much. It's scary. You might notice how well I am typing. That is because Leo is doing the typing for me. I'm dictating to him, so I apologize in advance.
Oh! Speaking of [sexy] Leo, he took me to his street-race last night. I got to act like a car whore. It was fun. No cops in sight. [I totally tore up the street, I am the master of all things in street-racing - Leo] It was fun, but scary. Leo, being the nice wonderful guy he is, won, but he won't tell me how much, probably so I won't know how much he spends on coke.
My parents are getting to know him finally. He's lived with us for a while now. It's so great. Nothing else has happened, but my mom wants to talk to me later tonight, when she gets back from dinner with Daddy. Hopefully, she won't be so drunk as she was last time. Oh! And a big thank you to Anna for making this background for me. It cuts off, but oh well. I love it.
Fucker! I just remembered. Adam called me last night or the night before. He wanted to meet with me. Of course, I said "Fuck off" and hung up. Does he think he can apologize for what he did to me? I never want to see his fucking face again.
And that's it boys and girls. Everything that's happened since my last entry. I went surfing with Leo again, but that's not important. So good night, remember to get your coats at the door, and let's give one more round of applause for Leo, who made this evening possible.

Your the boy cut. You love to get out and be yourself. Getting down
and dirty is a very familiar thing to you. You live an active live style
and you simply love it, you go where life takes you.

Which underwear are you?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, June 8th, 2003

Subject:surfing usa
Time:9:51 pm.
Mood: weird.
i went surfing saturday by myself with aphro. my parentsgot back tonight. anyway, i just slept on the beach in my convertible, not safe at all. i left the radio on to soft rock, and aphro was guarding me, so maybe i was proteced. so two days of surfing, got home today, leo had won 2000 for street racing, and narowlly escaped getting caught by police, so he was all happy. he hugged me and took me off to dinner.
we went to red lobster, lol, and he dragged me there right when i got home, so i was there in a bikini and board shorts. surprisingly, we were admitted in. it was great. we relaxed, didn't talk about drugs, or guys, or girls. just about future plans, cars, and school next year. my parents are making me go to a private school where they wear uniforms. i can't believe i forgot about that for a minute. girls have to wear a white short sleeved blouse, plaid skirt, blue sweater vest with the school crest, knee socks, and black shoes. guys wear wear short sleeved suit shirt things, and black i think pants, and black shoes. more later gotta go.
Wow...I'm Audrey!
Which Female Dawson's Creek Character Are You?Find out!
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Monday, June 2nd, 2003

Time:10:02 pm.
Ahh... The first official day of school break. Leo and I celebrated by way of movie marathon. The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, Rear Window, Pulp Fiction and Fight Club were watched. That's all.
Leo and I really have no other friends. Isn't that sad? XD
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Tuesday, May 27th, 2003

Time:7:46 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Surfing was exacly what I needed. I met a boy. Leo and I were eating oki dogs on the beach when he came up to us. His name is Matt. He started talking to us, asking generic questions. Then he asked if I wanted to go on a walk with him. I told him I had just come out of a relationship, and didn't want anything for a while. He understood. And that was it. I didn't get his number, he didn't get mine. We just know each other's first names. How very "serendipity". I orderd some shit online. Blah blah blah.
I saw Bruce Almighty with Leo. I couldn't tell you what it was about. We were text messaging each other the whole time on our phones. Boring days, boring nights. One day of school left.

i was surprised, i thought it would be higher
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Time:3:32 am.
Mood: high.
Yay for Leo! He threw a party at my house, since my parents were gone. In fact, it's still going on now, but I'm a dork, and I am updating my journal. He loved my gift, and put it on his car right away. He got some clothes. Damn, seriously about half of the school showed up. I don't care. Adam isn't here. I guess he's lost to me. I ordered pizza. A LOT of pizza. The delivery guy was sleazy. He tried to HIT on me. He looked like he was about 24. I gave him the check and he said "I know a different way you can tip me" "what would that be?" "get down on your knees" yeah, I'm gonna give the pizza guy head. I tried to shut the door, but he stopped it, winked, and left. Ew. I hate myself.
Leo is trying to hook up with a lady. He keeps looking at me all worridly. I can't believe I have school in about 3-6 hours I can't think straight. Woh. After school tomorrow, I'm taking Leo surfing. I haven't been in so long. I need the waves. I remeausred myself. I am now 5'4" 99 pounds. Perfect. Almost. I'm so chubby it's disgusting. No pizza for me!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, May 25th, 2003

Time:9:25 pm.
Mood: crushed.
I'm so worried. I've become everything kids called me at school. Thank god theres only a week left of it. And no school tomorrow. I am so worried about Leo. He's really addicted to coke alluva sudden. I mean, I think he's addicted. He's done it 2 more times since. He went to his house yesterday to get all of his stuff out. His father threw a wine glass at him, his cheek has a long cut right on his cheekbone. His mom did shit to stop him. I don't want to meet his parents. He is also street-racing again. It really worries me. I went to watch one of his races. He won, and got $500. I don't know if thats alot ora little. But it worried me. I want him to stop. He's my best friend. Adam, Missy and Jake are all lost to me. He took me out to a mexican resturant. I can't eat anything. I just feel so sick. My parents are home again. I wish they wouldn't travel so much. That whole thing with Adam would have been prevented.
My mom yelled at me for all my detentions. Luckily, I can zone out easily. So I did. Only one week. And finals were last week so its just parties in class. Oh, happy birthday Leo. I'm getting him a vanity lisence plate that says "LEOGRR". It's his 17th. He should be back in soon. I hope he isn't smoking or snorting. I am so worried about him.
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Saturday, May 17th, 2003

Time:11:14 pm.
I hate myself. I really do. I can't believe it. I can't even type this out without almost crying. It wasn't rape because I didn't fight. But I didn't want to do it. But I didn't say no. Everything is swirling around me in flashes and stars. I dont know what to do.
My parents went out of town. Adam came over. He said he still loved me and was sorry for everything he had done. Leo was gone. I guess he was trying to get coke or something. He had Aphro with him. Anyway, Adam apologized, and we immediately began maknig out on the couch. He took off our shirts, and then our pants. And I'm not a virgin anymore. He kind of laughed when we were done, and called me a slut. I started crying, and he slapped me. And left. And as he was leaving, Leo came in. with aphrodite. he saw me crying, asked adam what he did. Adam said he did what i deserved to have done. Leo punched Adam, Adam laughed again and left.
so Leo found me in my underwear on the couch. He actually did have the coke we had joked about getting. He poured a line onto a mirror and I snorted it. It felt like snowflakes shooting up my nose. I blacked out. I woke up and Leo was asleep with his head on my stomach, Aphro was on his lap. It was noon today. Leo woke up and I told him what happened. He wanted to go kill Adam, but its my fault. it really is. i am a slut. but why did he do that? I really do love him. why do i lovehim? he practically raped me, but he didn't. he knew it wouldnt be counted as rape. i love him. he hates me. i have no one. even leo is getting angry with me. I drove to the beach today.
i needed to smoke. badly. i bribed some guy to get some cigarettes for me. i dont even want to talk about what i had to do to bribe him. im just aslut whore. i just parked my lovely car on the beach, and i sat on the hood and i smoked and cried.
A group of guys actually came up to me and were trying to be all cute and flirty and asking me what was wrong. I told them I was raped and then I had blacked out on coke. it was too much for those a&f model boys to take, and they left.
i just got back. god i need to get this whole fucking thing off my chest. i need everything to be better. I need to go talk to Leo.
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Thursday, May 15th, 2003

Subject:oOoOoOoOo yeah
Time:9:39 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
Ah!!!! Adam is coming over. He said he still loved me. Leo isn't here i dunno what to do ah! doorbell OMGOMGOMGOMG
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2003

Time:8:59 pm.
Mood: rushed.
Leo saw his girlfriend off at the airport. I've never seen a guy cry so much. They broke up too. So Leo and I raided the nearest grocery store and got:
10 bags of pixi stix
2 disposable cameras
shaving cream AND [of course]
ice cream
We didn't even watch movies for once. We just ate all the sugar and took pictures of Aphro while Leo danced with her. The ice cream is gone. I can't believe I ate so much. Leo is carefully monitoring me so I won't throw up. XD Also, 5 bags of pixi stix are gone. I think I snorted more than I ate. Leo and I are talking about drugs and CRYSTAL IS A SILTUS SLUT WHORE WHO IS A STLUW ok yeah THANKS LEO. That was him, I added italics. ANYWAY. Yeah were talking about drugs and how LA makes snorting coke look so glitz and glam. I wanna try it at least once. I mean, the two things you have to do to get through high school here is to 1. lose our virginity and 2. do some type of drug. welcome to LA theessence of americanism
ok again Leo. I love him. <3 Hopefully he won't remember his [ex]girlfriend and start crying again. Shoot I have to study for a spanish final. nyah. buenas dias and I'm out
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Thursday, May 8th, 2003

Subject:my problems
Time:9:07 pm.
Mood: depressed.

Haha How true

Anyway.. my parents yelled at me for about an hour when they found out about the car. I didn't let them see me cry. I waited until I called Leo for that. My nose is all better, and still in good shape. Aphro still has her bandages on, and Leo is just peachy. For punishment, I have to use my allowance to pay for the car, I got my cell phone taken away, AND my driving privleges.

I called Missy last night. We went shopping in all these funky stores. It was a really big awkward silence for a while, then finally told me she and Jake had had sex. I zoned out while she was telling me about it. I know that's awful, but I was thinking about Adam. I still love him so much, but I saw him walking around school with a new lil whore to replace me. And in the classes we have together, he just ignores me, and he moved his seat away from mine. I felt so bad. I called Leo and together we smoked half a pack of cigarettes. We rationalized that it was ok because he just broke up with his girlfriend because she is moving to Washington next week.

My parents were cool for once, and told Leo he could practically live in the guest room until he felt like he could go home. He really can't stand it there. It's so cool, he's like this awesome brother. "His room" is on the 3rd floor right above mine. We talk through the laundry chute, and he climbed down it last night. I want to meet his parents and find out why he hates him home.

Detention again today. I got in a fight with this girl. She asked me why I was sad. I told her. She screamed at me for "having this great glitz-and-glam life with your rich ass parents. you have everything, you live in a sugar coated untouchable world, how could you ever be upset?" I started yelling back at her. This was during a test. The other girl just got a warning. urgh.
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Saturday, April 26th, 2003

Time:4:13 pm.
Mood: scared.
I am dead I am dead I am so fucking dead. Oh MY GOD. Today started off well. Leo slept over again. God, he really does hate his house. He borrowed one of dad's suits. I wonder when they will get back. Hopefully not soon. We taught Aphrodite how to swim, or kinda. Doesn't matter. So I finally found the keys to the convert in the martini shaker in the bar. My parents obviously don't trust me. and for good reason, because welcome to fucking sitcom land.

I was so excited to take Aphrodite and Leo out for a drive. We were going somewhere, anywhere. Away. But exactly 1.63 miles away from my house, I crashed. How could I be so fucking stupid? Oh, I know how. I was fighintg Leo, who kept changing my Madonna CD, so I wasn't paying attention, I swerved off the road and hit a palm tree. The air bag went off, Aphrodite flew out of the car, and broke some of her ribs. Leo hit the air bag and broke his nose, so did I. The palm tree wasn't damaged, so the people whose house it was in front of didn't care. They just wanted the car gone. THE CAR! Oh.. It has a huge fucking dent in the front of it. It still works.. but still.

I haven't called my parents about it yet. I think I'll wait until they get home. Maybe. They will KILL me. They will take away everything. After I got the mangled car back into the garage, we went straight to the vets office. They asked what had happened. I made up a lame excuse about falling down the stairs or something. They didn't buy it. Poor Aphrodite broke 4 ribs. Her tummy is all bandaged up, but she is otherwise fine. So, Leo and I [in Leo's car, with him driving, and no music] went to the walk-in medical clinic. We told them we had wiped out surfing. They didn't really believe us eithier. And no we both have tape over our noses. Hopefully we won't end up looking like Owen Wilson.

God damnit! I hope my parents get back much much later. I need to get money to fix the car. And I know it'll be very expensive. Got back home, and now Leo is rubbing Aphro's tummy and watching "I Know What You Did Last Summer" he's going out with his girlfriend in about 2 hours, so I'll be alone. Maybe I'll call up Missy or something. Who knows. GOD I can't believe I got into a crash!

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, April 25th, 2003

Subject:Leo is my duck
Time:6:41 pm.
Mood: guilty.
OH MY FUCKING GOD. Leo is the most awesome person EVER. I called him yesterday, after I journal[ed] and he came right over. He brought over Ben & Jerry's, and "Memento" instead of "Pulp Fiction". "Memento" is awesome. Just what I needed, a good thriller. Seriously though. Leo just listened to me cry and talk about Adam. We talked about Adam for a long time, and by the time we were done, Leo had made him look like a toad on acid. So I guess I'm over him.

We played truth or dare. It really cheered me up. He knows everything about me now. All the drugs I've done, my recovering from bulimia, my bad self-esteem. I know everything about him. His street racing, smoking, and the home that he hates. We're just two characters out of a movie. Maybe later in life I will publish an autobiography. God knows I have enough shit to fill it with. I'll call it This Teen Movie or something like that. My connection with Leo is so strong. He's hot, yeah, but I'd never think of hitting on him. So at around 3 in the morning, we both kind of drifted off to sleep on the couch.

We woke up today around 11. Ooops, forgot about school. We just decided to skip, and stay at my house. He really likes my house for some reason. He says his own parents hate him because he's not perfect. So we went to Grauman's Chinese Theatre, you know, that place with all the famous handprints. Yeah. So we walked around there for two hours, over and over. My hands are almost as small as Doris Day's. I wanted to go to the beach, but Leo didn't, so we went to Tacobell and got some good crap to take back to my house. There, we watched Romeo + Juliet, and Leo started saying all the lines with Leo. Just for that reason, I need to learn Juliet's part.

He is so much better than Missy and Jake. Who, aren't talking to me. I guess they're both on Adam's side about this break up. I don't even know why we broke up. I guess I never will. Oh, we also walked Aphrodite around too. Adam loves her.
What&apos;s Your Perfect Teen Movie?
What's Your Perfect Teen Movie?
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Thursday, April 24th, 2003

Time:10:08 pm.
Mood: crushed.
I went to school today. I don't know why. I wanted to prove to Adam I could act like everything was normal, like it was a good thing we broke up. I spilled my story to locker boy [actually named Leo] and we ended up skipping lunch in his car, just talking. He is so awesome, and he doesn't make me feel awkward like most guys do. I just got to be myself. He invited me to go see "Pulp Fiction" at his house, but I declined. He quickly explained it wasn't as a date at all, he had a girlfriend, but I still just want to be alone tonight. Which I am. It's actually kind of scary. I tihnk I might cry again. Maybe I will call Leo.

YAY!  I&apos;m Cordelia!
Which Female Buffy Character are you? Find out!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003

Subject:detention sucks
Time:9:28 pm.
God detention is so boring. I practiced holding my breath. I can get it up to 39 seconds now. That's how bored I was. When I asked to go to the bathroom, the teacher came with me [a girl] to make sure I wasn't smoking. Turns out I have to talk to the guidance counsler tomorrow. They're "worried" about me. I think they just want to make sure I don't drop out and make our school look bad. I wish detention was like "the breakfast club" but it's not. Gah.. phone.

OMG I am going to cry. Adam called me and wants to break it off permanently. Forever. Hello sitcom life. I need to smoke... but I flushed all of mine. I guess that's good. It's a horrible habit. Marilyn makes it look so glam. But it really isn't. I want to go drive at top speed. I just got my liscence though, I don't know where they keys to a car are. I'm crying so I think I'll leave
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for crystal*.

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